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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22353394">Crave</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/vix_spes/pseuds/vix_spes'>vix_spes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Force Sensitivity, Getting Together, Holding Hands, Injury Recovery, Insecurity, Kink Meme, M/M, Touch-Starved</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 08:16:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,151</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22353394</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/vix_spes/pseuds/vix_spes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn had been expecting life in the Resistance to be very different to that in the First Order, but he hadn’t expected it to fulfil a deep-seated need in him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Poe Dameron/Finn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>206</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>The Force Awakens Kinkmeme</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/slightlytookish/gifts">slightlytookish</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for the following (very old!) prompt at TFA Kink Meme: <a href="https://tfa-kink.dreamwidth.org/3467.html?thread=7748491#cmt7748491">here</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>Finn had been expecting life in the Resistance to be very different to that in the First Order, but he hadn’t expected it to fulfil a deep-seated need in him.</p><p>Touch.</p><p>For as long as he could remember, Finn had craved touch, craved human contact. He couldn’t remember his family, assuming he had had one; the First Order took them young. It was better that way in their opinion. Take them young before they got too attached, before they formed proper memories because it led to a more biddable army. Obedient soldiers that did what they were told without questioning. That didn’t try to escape. Yet, while Finn didn’t remember his family, the system or planet that he had come from or if he had a name, he did have fleeting memories of casual touch, of a warm embrace.</p><p>He clung to those memories irrespective of the pain that they caused. The exquisite torture that came from remembering something that was beyond his grasp. He ached for something – anything – be it a handshake, a pat on the back or a hug. As far as the First Order was concerned, touch was as forbidden as talk of the Jedi and the Force.</p><p>In an attempt to assuage his need, his cravings, Finn had taken the few opportunities that had been given to him. He didn’t shy away from the impersonal physical examinations like most of the troopers. While they would do all they could to avoid the regular check-ups, Finn was positively eager no matter how cursory the touches from the medics. Other troopers spoke of the perfunctory touches being invasive but while Finn agreed audibly, privately that was not the case.</p><p>Troopers were not given much – if any – down time. The First Order believed that free time led to discontented troopers, troopers with too much time had the opportunity to cultivate free will. If they weren’t on duty, training or sleeping then they were encouraged in recreational activities such as wrestling. If he wasn’t on duty, Finn signed up for every single match. He took every blow, every bruise without complaint and relished the aches and pains that lingered because it was tangible proof that it had happened, that he hadn’t just imagined it.</p><p>And then Jakku had happened.</p><p>Slip had died. Finn had finally – truly – admitted to himself that the First Order was not something that he wanted to be a part of and he had met Poe. Poe Dameron, hot shot pilot, Commander in the Resistance and Finn’s saviour. Finn had been so scared when they crash landed on Jakku that he had lost the first person that had made him feel alive, that had made him feel that he was something. At least he had had Poe’s jacket. Beyond grateful that he had snatched it from the smouldering wreck of the TIE fighter they had escaped in, Finn could imagine that he was wrapped in Poe’s arms. The jacket was clearly loved and a little bit snug on Finn but that just helped Finn’s imagination. And, well, if the delicious combination of engine oil with something spicy and fruity was how Poe actually smelt? It was addictive.</p><p>A flicker of hope had ignited within him as he watched an X-Wing being piloted expertly in the skies above Takodana and that flicker had burst into a flame on D’Qar when he had set eyes on Poe on the landing strip. Seconds later, it had burst into a raging inferno when Poe had not only run towards him, apparently happy to see him, but had wrapped his arms around Finn in an actual embrace.</p><p>It was even better than Finn had dared to dream. Poe’s arms had wrapped tightly around him and squeezed. Finn’s arms were wrapped around Poe just as tightly and this was everything that Finn had dreamed and more. He just wanted to sink into Poe’s arms and never leave. When Poe pulled back, it was all Finn could do not to whimper and he was grateful that Poe maintained contact with one hand on his shoulder. He heard Poe thanking him for completing his mission and then he saw the moment that Poe recognised the jacket. Finn started to shrug it off, showing willing even though, internally, he was begging and pleading to be allowed to keep it. He could have cried in relief when Poe told him just that.</p><p>Finn would have done anything to ensure the Resistance’s help to get Rey back and giving them all of the information that he could on Starkiller base was nothing. What did surprise him was that, through all of it, Poe didn’t move from his side. He stood there, still in his bright orange flight-suit, so close to Finn that their shoulders were constantly brushing. If Finn leant forward to point something out on the holos, he could feel Poe’s hand at the small of his back, grounding him. As they finalised their plans, several of the Resistance including Han and Chewbacca clapped him on the shoulder or the back yet, when Poe did the same, his hand lingered. Irrespective, Finn cherished each and every touch.</p><p>He didn’t have any further opportunity to analyse any of it because then they were trying to take out Starkiller base. He was reunited with Rey but then they lost Han and Finn somehow found himself in the snow fighting Kylo Ren with a lightsabre. He couldn’t stop to think about it because if he did, Finn was pretty sure that his head would explode. He couldn’t explain it or even really comprehend it but the sabre in his hands felt right. As though he was being enveloped in something wonderful. It wasn’t the same as a hug from Poe but it came close.</p><p>For all his efforts though, Finn was no match for Kylo Ren and although he held out longer than he would have expected. Even so, all too soon, Finn felt the searing pain of Ren’s lightsabre down his back and then nothing but blackness.</p><p>~*~</p><p>When Finn woke up, his first very fuzzy thought was amazement that he was still alive. He would have been badly injured by Ren, if not near death. Badly injured enough that the First Order probably wouldn’t have bothered attempting to save him. Which begged the question, why had the Resistance? Why had they wasted vital – and probably dwindling – medical supplies on an ex-Stormtrooper?</p><p>But then that was forgotten as he realised that there was a hand holding tightly to his. Opening his eyes took more effort than he was expecting and, when he pried his eyes open, Finn realised that he was encased in a strange suit with tubes attached and trapped in a clear pod. Yet, slumped asleep in a chair in his orange flight-suit and holding tightly to Finn’s hand was Poe.</p><p>His back hurt and he could barely keep his eyes open, but as he drifted back into sleep, Finn curled his fingers around Poe’s with what felt like monumental effort.</p><p>Cravings – temporarily – satisfied.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The next three times that Finn woke up, Poe was there at his bedside, clutching at his hand through the suit. Well, Finn called it waking up, but it wasn’t really. In truth, it was little more than Finn cracking his eyes open to mere slits, but it was enough to reassure himself that he was still alive, that Kylo Ren hadn’t killed him and that Poe was there. Each time, it felt like Finn was looking at everything through a haze due to the amount of pain that he was in, even if the haze was a little less with every wake-up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn felt a little stronger every time he woke up and he knew that time was passing. He mostly</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>knew that from Poe. Sometimes, the man was in his orange flight suit, other days a cream coloured v-neck. Sometimes his hand was wrapped around Finn’s so that the tips of his fingers could feel Finn’s pulse while other times their fingers were all tangled together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So, when Finn properly woke up and was greeted by the sight of no Poe sat by his bedside, he panicked. He didn’t even wait for any of the medical staff to realise that he was awake, he just simply ripped out tubes, detached machines and fought his way out of the strange suit to the sound of a myriad alarms. Finn staggered through into the main corridors and had barely gone a few feet before he was almost tripping over BB-8. His breathing came a fraction easier at that because wherever BB-8 was, Poe wasn’t far behind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn was right.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seconds later, Poe was there, his hands on Finn and that little tight knot that had been nestled in his chest started to ease. He hadn’t realised just how much he had come to rely upon Poe’s touch, come to need it. Finn had spent so long without touch but wanting it desperately that the minute he had it, he became addicted. Because that was the problem with cravings. They didn’t dissipate easily. Finn hungered, thirsted, for touch but there was one person's touch he craved more than anyone else's. Poe’s touch. Poe Dameron, the man that Finn had saved from the First Order and, in the process, saved himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The longer that he was awake, the more that Finn became aware of certain things. Firstly, the Resistance were very keen on touch. They were always clapping each other on the back, bumping shoulders, hugging each other when they returned from missions, holding hands. There was always physical contact, no matter how small. They also weren’t shy about sharing things other than platonic friendship. About showing romantic relationships. Finn had stared goggle-eyed as Snap and Karé – amongst others – shared kisses, as they good-naturedly endured teasing from the rest of Black Squadron about all the places they had snuck off and had relations. Had been amazed by the way that General Organa and the commanders of the Resistance had supported the relationship between them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That would never have happened in the First Order. Friendships were frowned upon. You were expected to be loyal to your squad mates but nothing more than that. Friendship meant that a trooper’s loyalty didn’t lie solely with the Order. As for relationships, well. There were rumours every now and then about two troopers who were in a relationship with each other. Those involved were swiftly taken away for reconditioning and then separated, often sent to opposite sides of the galaxy. Even so, Finn had hoped that one day…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Here, in the Resistance, seeing how relationships were welcomed, celebrated even, well, Finn couldn’t help but dream. It was everything that Finn had spent years – a whole lifetime - fantasising about. And, well, no-one was as hands on as Poe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Secondly, it didn’t take Finn long to realise that there were some people in the Resistance, on D’Qar that were afraid of him. That didn’t want to touch him. As far as they were concerned, once a Stormtrooper, always a Stormtrooper. It hurt; Finn wouldn’t deny that. However, the fact that Poe believed in him helped. It also helped that Black Squadron and General Organa followed suit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All of them accepted him with nothing more than Poe’s word and a quick précis of what Finn had done to help their beloved leader. They had needed nothing more than that. Well, maybe the Force where the General was concerned. They greeted Finn with hugs and handshakes in the mess, included him in their catcalling and the nights spent in the pilot’s ready room. Jess and Karé had even taken him aside not too long after he had woken up to assure him that yes, they had accepted him so quickly because of Poe, but it had taken no time at all for them to like Finn for nothing more than being himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still, Black Squadron had nothing on Poe Dameron.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn had never met anyone so touchy-feely. Not that he was complaining. Why would he when Poe was satisfying a lifetime of cravings? Poe seemed to seize every single opportunity to touch Finn, and there was no way that Finn was going to do or say anything that might put a stop to that. If anything, he wanted more. He wanted anything and everything that Poe would and could give him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What he did notice was that Poe didn’t limit himself as the others had, didn’t restrain himself in the slightest. It seemed as though he was always touching Finn in some way or another. There was the way that he always took hold of Finn’s hand to tow him somewhere or other on the base. How his hand was always in the small of Finn’s back when they attended briefings in the command centre. The way that Poe’s fingers always - </span>
  <em>
    <span>always - </span>
  </em>
  <span>brushed against Finn’s when Poe was sneaking him Meiloorun or Koyo Fruit from the mess or, even better, Trammistan chocolate that he had bartered for and brought back to base. Finn had grown more accustomed to touch – he had – but he still couldn’t help the reflexive shiver of pleasure that ran through him every time he received what he had craved for so long.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then there were Poe's teaching methods.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before, Jakku, before he had been demoted to sanitation, before he had started to doubt the First Order, Finn had not just been your average Stormtrooper. He had been more than that. He had been top of his class, one of Phasma’s favourites. It hadn’t taken the Resistance long to realise that Finn needed no lessons in how to use a blaster. Piloting a ship was a different matter, however. When he had fully recovered from the injuries he had received at the hands of Kylo Ren, it had been made clear to Finn that he didn't have to fight. He could do whatever he wanted, and if he didn't want to do anything, he had already done more than enough. Finn was not going to be able to just sit by and do nothing though. He wanted to do something, he just wasn't sure what. So, when Poe had offered to teach him how to fly, Finn had jumped at the opportunity.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn't expecting Poe to teach the way that he did. Finn may not have run many flight sims when he was a trooper but the instructors definitely didn't use the same methods. He couldn't imagine Phasma standing behind any of the troopers like Poe did, all but draping himself over Finn's back, pressing so close that Finn could feel his heartbeart. He would then wrap his arms so his hands covered Finn's on the controls, guiding him. It gave Finn a sense of security and he loved it. He was never going to be the best pilot in the galaxy but that was fine - that was Poe's job. Instead, Finn would settle for being an adequate pilot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There had been one moment where Finn had wondered whether he wanted too much from Poe. New recruits arrived on D'Qar every now and then and among the newly arrived was a Coruscanti pilot. She was gorgeous, even Finn could recognise that. She had also clearly set her sights on Poe. There had been a tight knot in Finn's chest, a feeling that he couldn't quite explain, as he watched her sidle up to Poe and request his help with the sims. The feeling dissipated a little as he saw that Poe didn't drape himself, instead standing to one side and acting with the same detached professionalism that wouldn't be out of the ordinary with a First Order captain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It made him feel better but he couldn't shake the confusion over the strange feeling that he had experienced. What did it mean? Surely all the touch he received had satiated his cravings. Why did he want - need - more? What more could he want? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then it hit him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wanted Poe. Not just as a friend. But romantically.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The confusion didn’t dissipate once Finn had come to his realisation that he wanted Poe as more than simply a friend. If anything, it increased. Why was he so interested in a relationship? And, more than that, why Poe? Why now? What was it about Poe Dameron that had Finn contemplating a relationship?</p>
<p>It wasn’t just his kindness or his attractiveness. There were other members of the Resistance – from varying species – that were just as attractive as Poe. There were plenty who were kinder than Poe. One of them – a mechanic by the name of Rose Tico – had seemed quite taken by Finn. She certainly seemed to spend a fair amount of time watching him, hovering on the edges of Black Squadron until Iolo and Snap were elbowing Finn and making jokes that he didn’t understand and Poe scowl inexplicably. Poe always refused to say why he scowled thigh, which only increased Finn’s confusion.</p>
<p>Even though he wanted to do nothing but spend time with Poe, Finn was very conscious that he didn’t want Poe to get sick of him. So, he started to spend time with other people around the base that weren’t Poe Dameron and Black Squadron; the people that he was working with, Rose Tico. They were all lovely. They answered Finn’s questions without making him feel like an idiot, they were kind and yes, more than a few of them were attractive. However, none of them were Poe. He didn’t want to kiss them like he did Poe. He didn’t want to be wrapped in their embrace like he did with Poe. He also didn’t understand why Poe didn’t like his new friends. At least, he didn’t think that Poe liked them from the way that Poe always managed to turn up, scowling at whoever Finn was currently spending time with.</p>
<p>Yet, Finn still couldn’t seem to muster the courage to mention any of this to Poe.</p>
<p>Part of Finn did wonder if he had these feelings because Poe had rescued him, because he felt like he owed Poe. He knew that it was a possibility. So, as hard as it was, Finn took himself off into the jungle for an afternoon, removing himself from the temptation of Poe and looked deep within himself. He examined all of his interactions with Poe from the second that they met on Starkiller Base, all of his interactions with other members of the Resistance and, most importantly, his own feelings. When he emerged from the jungle hours later to a hug from a somewhat frantic Poe, he knew that he was in love with Poe because he was Poe and not because Finn felt beholden to him.</p>
<p>But, of course, that raised another problem.</p>
<p>What if Poe didn’t feel the same? What if Poe wasn’t interested because of Finn’s lack of experience? What if he retreated from Finn? What if he stopped with the hugs, with all of the casual touches that Finn had become so accustomed to? What if the handholding stopped? Finn didn’t think that he could bear that. Maybe it was just better to say nothing at all.</p>
<p>In the end, it was a mission that made Finn decide to act.</p>
<p>Finn still hadn’t quite made his decision as to the role that he would play within the Resistance, but he knew it wouldn’t be with the pilots. Finn was willingly giving all the information that he could to Leia and the rest of the command, but he was spending most of his time with the medics and the Pathfinders. He wasn’t taking missions yet, but he would as soon as he was needed. However, just because Finn wasn’t taking missions, didn’t mean that Poe was doing the same.</p>
<p>Why would he be? He was Commander Poe Dameron, best pilot in the Resistance. Why would he be grounded? That being said, Finn hadn’t realised just how much he relied upon Poe being on D’Qar or on missions lasting less than 24 hours until he wasn’t.</p>
<p>It was a quick intel gathering mission, one that only required two people and not the entirety of Black Squadron. Poe had volunteered immediately, claiming seniority, and, after drawing straws, Snap had joined him. It was supposed to be a reasonably quick intel mission; three days, all in all. Poe had bestowed Finn with an extra long, tight hug as he left along with an insouciant grin as he promised that he’d be back before the deadline.</p>
<p>Poe and Snap’s comms had gone dark three hours before they were due back. Up until then, Finn had been doing reasonably well at keeping himself occupied in an attempt to miss Poe less. He had thrown himself into work with the both the medics and the Pathfinders, while Jess Pava and Karé had taken it upon themselves to provide as much of the touch usually provided by Poe as possible. Even Suralinda and General Organa had touched him more than normal. Finn appreciated it, he really did. It was just, they weren’t Poe. They could give him the touch that he craved but they couldn’t provide the sense of security that Poe’s touch did. That sense of safety. Of home.</p>
<p>Home.</p>
<p>It was that realisation that truly brought things home for Finn. All those years he had been a Stormtrooper, had dreamed of having a home, had imagined the home that he had been ripped away from. He had never envisaged – hadn’t dared to hope - that he would find it. Not merely in the Resistance, but in a person. In Poe. Because, if Finn was honest with himself, that was the truth of the matter. He was always going to crave Poe’s touch more than anyone else’s because Poe was his home.</p>
<p>The realisation didn’t make the comms black-out any easier to deal with. General Organa reassured him that she had no doubts in Poe’s abilities while the women of Black Squadron had regaled him with tales of tricky situations that Poe had got himself out of over the years. Stories that did nothing but solidify Finn’s belief that Poe was the best pilot in the galaxy. It helped a little bit, but Finn’s laughter definitely had a brittle edge to it and his ears were constantly straining for the now familiar rumble of X-Wing engines coming in to land on D’Qar. More than anything, it convinced Finn that he needed to do something, needed to say something to Poe when he returned. Because Poe would return, Finn had faith in that.</p>
<p>Even so, that faith wavered ever so slightly when it was two days after Poe and Snap were due back and the comms were still black. Everyone was on edge, from General Organa and the rest of command down to the medics and mechanics. As a result, by the time that the low rumble echoed over the treetops, the entire Resistance was running out to the landing strip. Within seconds, both Finn and Karé had outstripped everyone else and, as Finn headed for Black One, he saw Karé grabbing Snap by the face and shouting at him before pulling him into a kiss. For a brief second, he wished he could do the same to Poe. And then he was at Black One and, not caring that Poe was still several steps from the tarmac, pulling him into the tightest hug that he could. He could feel Poe stiffen but Finn still didn’t let go, holding on until he felt Poe relax and wind his own arms tightly around Finn with a slight chuckle.</p>
<p>Finn knew that everyone else would be fast approaching but he still didn’t let go of Poe. If anything, he burrowed even closer. The familiar smell and feel of Poe in his arms went a long way to easing that little knot within him that had grown and even festered while Poe had been away.</p>
<p>“Okay buddy, I’m really glad – you have no idea how glad – to see you too but I think my ribs just creaked. Any chance you could hug me not so hard?”</p>
<p>Finn might not be able to copy Karé in the kissing bit, but he could copy the shouting part of her greeting. He pulled back but kept a hold of Poe’s shoulders, trying to focus and not get distracted by the brush of Poe’s hair against his fingers.</p>
<p>“You’re not allowed to do that again. Do you know how hard it’s been not knowing if you were dead or alive? Knowing that I might not see you again and I never had the opportunity to tell you how much you mean to me? That I think I’m in love with you? Uuuugh!”</p>
<p>Not really knowing what else to say, not necessarily having the words to say, Finn didn’t know what else to do. Except for one thing. He grabbed Poe and yanked him forward into a kiss. It was clumsy given that Finn had never kissed anyone before and didn’t have the slightest clue what he was doing, merely copying what he had seen others do. It was far from perfect. Their noses bumped and teeth clashed a bit but, if nothing else, Finn was relatively confident that it had helped get his point across.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry if this makes things awkward between us, Poe, but I needed to say it. Needed to, umm, kiss you. If you’re not interested in me that way, I’ll understand. I won’t make things difficult.”</p>
<p>Finn wasn’t entirely sure what he was expecting from his outburst and fumbled kiss. Maybe for Poe to turn him down kindly with some comment about him being flattered but not interested in Finn that way was the best that he could hope for. He certainly wasn’t expecting for Poe to fist his hands in Finn’s jacket – in Poe’s jacket – and pull him in for another kiss. This was not the same as the first kiss. For a start, Poe knew what he was doing. This confirmed that yes, this was absolutely what – and who – Finn wanted. He whined as Poe pulled back, but took reassurance from the soft smile on Poe’s face, the way one of his thumbs came up and brushed over Finn’s cheek.</p>
<p>“Not interested?! Finn, buddy! Of course, I’m interested! Finn, did you not realise that I’ve been flirting with you this whole time?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Not interested?! Finn, buddy! Of course, I’m interested! Finn, did you not realise that I’ve been flirting with you this whole time?”</p>
<p>Finn was pretty sure he’d stopped breathing. He was pretty sure he’d stopped breathing the minute that Poe had kissed him back. He had to be imagining it. But then Poe’s hand was still fisted in Finn’s jacket. He was still pressed close enough that Finn could feel the heat of his body, his calloused thumb still stroking over Finn’s cheek. Poe was still giving Finn that soft smile, his eyes occasionally flicking down to Finn’s lips. Maybe Finn wasn’t imagining this. He needed to check though, needed to make sure.</p>
<p>“You’ve been fl-flirting … with me? You’re interested in <em>me</em>?”</p>
<p>“Finn…”</p>
<p>“Commander Dameron.”</p>
<p>General Organa’s voice rang out and, with it, went the moment. Finn had never thought he would ever have cause to dislike the General but, right now, he did.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry to intrude on your little moment, but we need your report, Poe. Urgently.”</p>
<p>Okay, maybe he didn’t dislike the general; Finn could detect a hint of regret in her tone of voice, as though she felt guilty for interrupting them. That still didn’t mean he couldn’t be annoyed. Logically, he had expected it. After all, it was the same whether you were in the First Order or the Resistance. You had a mission, you had to give a report as soon as you were back. Especially if you were three days late and had been presumed dead. That didn’t mean that he had to like it though.</p>
<p>Smiling, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do, Finn stepped back out of reach of Poe’s hand. “The General’s right, you need to give the report. I’ll just go, and we can catch up later.”</p>
<p>Finn would just have to hope that, given time to think, Poe wouldn’t have cause to regret either his actions or his words, changing his mind in the process. Finn could just go and find some out of the way spot on base – or in the jungle – and have a panic attack where no-one could see him.</p>
<p>Poe apparently had other ideas. The hand that had been fisted in the jacket, fell to take hold of Finn’s hand. “NO! You don’t have to go. It won’t take us long to give the report, stay. Please.”</p>
<p>There were no objections from the General so Finn nodded, simultaneously relieved and agitated. General Organa turned and started back along the runway, Poe following after her and towing Finn along behind him. As he did so, Finn noticed that most of the crowd had disappeared back to their jobs once they had realised that Poe and Snap were okay. He also saw that he and Poe mirrored Snap and Karé. Seeing that, knowing that they were married and had been one of the relationships that he had envied, gave Finn a little confidence and he adjusted Poe’s grip on his hand from a simple clasp to entwining their fingers together. He was rewarded with one of Poe’s sunny smiles and Finn felt as though he could take on the whole First Order and win.</p>
<p>The briefing was like any other that Finn had gone through since he had defected from the First Order and joined the Resistance. He knew that he should probably be listening to the details, should probably be aware of why Poe and Snap had gone dark and been delayed for two days but, in all truthfulness, he couldn’t concentrate.</p>
<p>Attending briefings with Poe was nothing new; from the moment that he had woken up – hell, from the minute that he had reunited with Poe – Finn had done his best to share all information that he could with General Organa and command. This was different, however. For one thing, Poe didn’t – wouldn’t – stop touching him. That in itself wasn’t anything unusual. However, Finn had never had to endure a briefing with Poe touching him when he knew what Poe tasted like, what he felt like. Poe was talking about how many First Order ships they had encountered, how many of their allies had surrendered to the First Order and Finn was thinking about Poe’s lips had felt pressed against his. He was also very aware that Poe’s fingers were still entwined with his and at no point during the entire report had Poe moved further from Finn than a few inches. Judging by the looks that Lieutenant Connix kept shooting him, everybody else was aware of it as well. He wasn’t entirely sure how long the briefing went on, mostly because Poe’s started tracing shapes and patterns on the back of Finn’s hand, thoroughly distracting him.</p>
<p>“Thank you, gentlemen. The information you’ve brought us will be very useful.”</p>
<p>“That’s it?”</p>
<p>Leia smiled, “that’s it. Get out of here. I think you’ve got an important conversation to be had, Commander.”</p>
<p>Finn barely had time to process the conversation before he was being tugged out of the room. As soon as they stepped out of the command centre, BB-8 was zipping around their ankles, beeping in a frenzy. Finn had started picking up some binary, but this was so quick that he couldn’t follow along. Poe didn’t seem to have any problem and chatted back to BB-8, until one part of the conversation caught Finn’s attention. Well, that and Poe’s blush.</p>
<p>“Yes, yes. BB-8, I’m dealing with it. Yes, he knows! Buddy, I can do this … what do you mean? BB-8, just let me do it my way. Just, maybe stay with Jess tonight.”</p>
<p>Finn couldn’t help but chuckle, loving the way that the two of them interacted with each other, even if his cheeks heated at the possible reason that BB-8 might have to stay with Jess. His laugh faded as he realised that Poe wasn’t taking them in the direction of the dining hall or even the pilot’s mess, but towards the sleeping quarters instead. And not just the sleeping quarters, but Poe’s room.</p>
<p>Finn had loved Poe’s room ever since the first time that he had walked into it after he woke up following his run-in with Kylo Ren. It was small – there wasn’t much space on D’Qar – but it was private. For his part, needing the familiarity and reassurance, Finn had opted to sleep in the dorms with the other lower-ranking members of the Resistance. However, he was familiar with Poe’s rooms. The small desk that was always covered in bits of engines and datapads, the holopics of his parents, of a Poe barely out of toddlerhood sat in his mother’s lap in an A-wing and a slightly older Poe staring up at a young General Organa and Luke Skywalker in adoration. However, where Finn normally felt ease the minute that he stepped inside Poe’s rooms, now he hovered nervously in the doorway.</p>
<p>“Finn? What are you doing over there? We need to talk, and I don’t know about you, but I’d rather do it with a bit of privacy.”</p>
<p>Finn stepped inside, the hiss of the door shutting sounding almost ominous. All of his doubts and insecurities seemed to have come back ten-fold. A glance at Poe from the corner of his eye showed that Poe wasn’t suffering in the same way.</p>
<p>“Finn? Do you regret it? Kissing me?”</p>
<p>“NO! Just …” Finn stepped closer and twisted his fingers in Poe’s blanket to have something to do, “did you mean it? When you said that you’ve been flirting with me the whole time?”</p>
<p>“Finn…” Poe’s voice was achingly gentle, as was his grasp when he took Finn’s hands in his, tugging him down to sit on the bed. “Why would I lie about something like that? Of course, I meant it. I should have known that you wouldn’t see it as flirting, not after a lifetime spent with the First Order.”</p>
<p>Finn gave a somewhat shaky laugh, “I couldn’t get over the way that you kept touching me. It was all I’d ever dreamed of, what I’d wanted for years and here you were, just giving it out without thinking about it. All of these people around the base, hugging and slapping each other on the back. I just thought this was how people behaved in the Resistance. Even if you did go further than everyone else.”</p>
<p>“I’ve always been a tactile guy,” Poe shrugged, “ask any of Black Squadron. It drives them nuts sometimes, although everyone is handsy to a certain extent. I’m not usual as obvious as I have been with you. You were – are – so damn tempting, I couldn’t keep my hands off you. Still can’t. Nearly everyone on base knew that I was flirting with you, even BB-8.”</p>
<p>“Then why did you not say something? Once you knew that I didn’t understand it was flirting.”</p>
<p>“Because I didn’t want you to feel obligated. Didn’t want you to feel like you had to because of what we went through together. Just because I was in love with you, didn’t mean that you were in love with me.”</p>
<p>Finn tried to keep his cool at Poe’s admission that he loved him. “I did wonder that. The day that I disappeared into the jungle, that was what I was thinking about; whether what I felt for you was because you had saved me.”</p>
<p>“And what did you decide?”</p>
<p>“You know the answer to that.”</p>
<p>“I want to hear you say it.”</p>
<p>“I love you not because you saved me. I mean, that’s probably a part of my reason but it’s not the only reason. There are so many things…”</p>
<p>Finn didn’t get the opportunity to elaborate because Poe was kissing him again and it was even better than before. And, okay, Finn didn’t really know what he was doing but Poe didn’t seem to mind. Instead, Finn revelled in the contact. Poe’s lips against his, their knees pressed together, the way that he could feel the heat of Poe’s body, one hand still entangled with his while the other rested against the nape of his neck.</p>
<p>This was all he had ever dreamed of and the fact that it was Poe? Well, that made it a hundred times better.</p>
<p>As they broke apart, ostensibly so that Finn could breathe, Poe dotted a multitude of kisses over Finn’s face and neck, only pausing to breath quietly in Finn’s ear.</p>
<p>“I promise, Finn. I’m going to give you everything you desire, everything you crave.”</p>
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